


the past beats inside me like a second heart

by phoenixsigns



Category: League of Legends RPF
Genre: Dialogue-Only, M/M, One-sided Conversation, Past Relationship(s)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-06
Updated: 2019-03-06
Packaged: 2019-11-12 15:52:03
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,142
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18013796
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/phoenixsigns/pseuds/phoenixsigns
Summary: Luka decides to tell Rasmus about his previous partners.Or: PerkZ blabs about his exes for 30 minutes straight.





	the past beats inside me like a second heart

**Author's Note:**

> This is in a very different style compared to what I usually write. Still, I hope you like it!

Hey Rasmus. Are you listening? 

...No reason.

No, really. I was just...thinking about stuff.

Do you think a lot about the past? I dunno, I just feel like…

Rasmus, can I tell you something?

No, I’m not dying, silly. It’s about the people I was seeing before you. My exes.

I guess I just want you to know...how I got here. 

My first time? Hm...well, it depends. When I was 15, a guy at my school asked if I was interested in boys. I said I didn’t know, and we went to the back of the school and he gave me a handjob.

No the best handjob I’ve ever had, I guess. But it was okay. I didn’t see the guy much after that.

It didn’t feel like sex at the time, if that makes sense. It just felt like...curiosity. Like exploration.

My first real time was with Glenn. You know, Hybrid.

Really, you didn’t think he was gay? Well, he’s bi, so you’re not wrong, exactly. First time he asked, I was surprised, but I mean...he was asking if I wanted him to suck my dick, so what was I gonna say, no? But yeah, we used to blow each other after games and stuff. It was nice. No strings attached, that kind of thing. We kind of fumbled around, figuring stuff out together. We lost contact after he left G2, though.

Next was with Fabian. He was...god, I used to flirt with him so hard back when he was on Fnatic. I thought he was straight and that I had no chance, but then he got my number somehow and invited me over for a threesome with Martin. 

...Yeah. Martin didn’t make it though, so it was just me and Fabian. He didn’t know I had never been with guys other than Glenn, and that I’d never fucked anyone or been fucked before. Now that night was a learning experience.

After that night, I kinda...fell for him. I know, embarrassing, right? But cocky little me thought that, now that he’d had a taste for the old Perkovic charm...I was picking flowers and imagining us getting married and stuff.

...Yeah, I was a dumb kid back then. 

So after Fabi and I didn’t end up getting married, or even getting together, I sort of fell into a funk. That’s when the, uh, the G2 vacation stuff happened. I was still heartbroken, and it didn’t help that news of Jesper and Alfonso joining G2 broke so early. Things were really tense on the team.

Jesper and I, yeah...I won’t say it was love at first sight or anything, I knew about the guy before he joined the team and admired him. But I always thought he was really fucking cute, and…Well, let’s just say I fell into his bed before the end of his first week here.

...To be honest, I was really in love with him, Rasmus. I thought we would be together forever. And I’m pretty sure he thought so too. This wasn’t just some one-sided thing like it was with me and Fabian. We were serious for a long time. And I mean, Alfonso was always there, sort of off to the side for a long time, but. Well. Guess he didn’t stay on the sidelines the whole time.

Not that I dislike Alfonso. He’s a great guy, good in bed too. But yeah. Guess he kind of stole Jesper from me by going with him to NA. Though I guess none of us got to keep him in the end.

...

I said some...things I didn’t mean when I found out about Jesper joining TSM. I was pretty fucking angry. Yeah, angry. It felt like a betrayal, to the team and to me. So maybe I kind of get...Fnatic’s reaction to you leaving.

Sorry, yeah, I’ll just talk about my past. It’s not quite done yet, anyway.

After Jesper and Alfonso left G2, I was single again. I mean, I was kind of sleeping with other people while I was with Jesper, and so was he, but now it was different because I wasn’t in a relationship anymore. It felt like I had my heart ripped out of my chest.

...Yeah, that’s cheesy, so what? I’m cocky but I can have feelings too, you know!

So then I had a lot of rebound sex, and by a lot I mean a *lot*. Can’t even remember all the names anymore. I definitely remember doing it with Martin, with Elias, with Kasper that one time, with Mihael...yeah, before he joined the team. And Marcin, of course. We always had a kind of love-hate relationship going on, mostly jokingly, but I transferred a lot of my anger into the sex we had. When he join G2, we went at it even more. So much so that GrabbZ started complaining and got us in trouble with Carlos.

No, I never slept with Carlos! Geez, who do you think I am!

...Okay, fine! It was one time! One time!! And we were both super drunk. Carlos said it was a mistake and we should never do it again.

...I would do it again with him, though. He’s pretty good in bed.

Sorry, I forgot to mention it earlier! Oh yeah, I forgot another guy I slept with. I totally got it on with Bjergsen once at Worlds.

Yeah, Bjergsen. I’ve hero-worshipped him since forever. So as soon as I got the chance to I worshipped his dick, haha.

It’s pretty big, yeah. Not the biggest I’ve ever had. And I’m not telling who was the biggest, you have to guess that yourself!

...Yeah, you’re right. Good guess. Don’t tell me you slept with him too.

Nah? Well, you’re not missing much. He’s big but has no idea what he’s doing with it. What a waste, honestly.

Anyway, where was I…

Okay, so 2018 was kind of tough for me. Before you and Miky joined the team, I kind of felt...I dunno. Kind of lost. Purposeless. Yeah, I had Marcin, but he’s terrible at feelings stuff. All we did was fuck. 

Yes, seriously! I guess you brought out his soft side or something.

So that year sucked, which made me think. Hey, I need a change. This team needs a change. And what kind of change would be better than getting the second-best midlaner in Europe to become my teammate?

By second-best I mean Mihael, of course. Best is me.

Alright, alright! You’re the best in the West, now stop tickling me!

So yeah. That’s been my journey so far. It’s been tough sometimes, but right now it’s totally worth it.

I love you so much, Rasmus. And Mihael, and Martin...and even Marcin, a little bit.

Yeah.

...Yeah.

Goodnight, Rasmus.


End file.
